Saturday, February 20, 2010

So I'm Gonna Smile...




so lately i've been smiling. a genuine smile. i can't even think back to the last time that i've felt like this.



i've decided that i'm going to live life for myself, from the wise words of my best friend "stop worrying about other people and live life for yourself." i've always wanted to please others, not disappoint them, make them mad, or upset. i avoid drama at all costs. but at this point in time, screw it.i CAN'T make everyone happy. i can't do it anymore. that is such a hard balance, and whether i mean to or not, someone's toes are going to get stepped on. sorry in advance. i'm going to do what makes ME happy, ME! it feels so good to be happy, to smile. i'm not going to let anyone get in my way anymore. time to move past your immature high school attitude, that clearly you haven't gotten rid of yet, and make life worth living for me.



so at this point, i want to say thank you to that person that puts a smile on my face day after day. that helps me get through my anxiety struggles. that is there for me ALWAYS. whether it be a venting session in the middle of the afternoon or the middle of the night. i'm trying to look past my "too good to be true" perspective and enjoy this while i can. and hope that it doesn't go anywhere :)

Sunday, February 14, 2010

happy valentines day











so normally i'm not one to fall into the valentines day hype, but i think i am this year because it's the first time since, ohhhh, elementary school that i've had a valentine :) so i am pretty sure that i will have a permanent smile on my face all day. no special valentine plans for me because we are states away, but that's okay, it's the thought that counts, and i guess i get my valentines day surprise the following weekend, which is okay by me. i surprised my valentine with some fresh, homemade brownies that were over-nighted to his house with a cute card :) it was a successful surprise, and i guess the brownies didn't last long!

for those of you who HATE valentines day, look at it as a day to celebrate the ones you love, like your parents, siblings, extended family, friends, it's not just a day to celebrate a special someone, but to everyone you love as well<3

so put on a smile and enjoy valentines day :)

Friday, February 12, 2010

a random assortment

many things inspired me to write today... so here goes...

first of all... i have been such a couch potato since i have been at home sick so i have been watching a variety of tv shows. today around dinner time i just happened to be watching extreme makeover: home edition, which is an inspiration in itself. i missed the beginning of the show where they give the background story of the family that they are going to help, but luckily they touched upon it again later in the show. turns out these children lost their father to a car accident and *i'm not sure of the time frame* lost their mother to domestic abuse, so now they were being raised by a god's gift of an aunt. obviously my story telling does not do the story justice, but you can only imagine the emotion behind this episode.

so this got me to thinking... i could never imagine what my life would be without my parents. i don't necessarily take them for granted, but i don't think i give enough credit to them either. my family means more than the world to me. i mean sure we have spats and arguments, but honestly, what family doesnt?! i feel like this is such a tiny little paragraph for something that means so much to me, but words can't describe the love you feel towards the people that mean the most to you. on the same subject, but slightly shifting, over spring break this year i REALLY want to get a tattoo, a tattoo of a symbol (haven't quite decided which symbol yet) but a symbol that means family... annnnd in my head there was much more for me to say about this but clearly my brain is shutting down on me at this point... soooo plan on seeing a blog about a tattoo sometime in the near future...


my next topic of discussion is a rant i could go on forever and ever and ever about, so maybe i'll devote an entire post to it very soon. yes, i'm going to do that instead...let's hope for you readers that procrastination doesn't get the best of me. although, fair warning, it's going to be a complaining, whiny post, but everyone needs one of those every once in a while, am i right?! OH the topic... you want to know the topic? hmmm. let's see if i can narrow this down to a single topic... current college/finishing college/ my future? hmm... broad, but it'll do i suppose.


lastly, my biggest "inspiration" to write this post today was the movie i just watched with my mom Julie and Julia. throughout the movie, the character julie is working on a blog about a year long goal i guess you could say that she has given herself to complete julia child's entire cookbook and write about her findings/adventures in doing so. what got to me in this was how helpful and fun it can be to write a blog... to just get things off of your chest, because there is bound to be at least one person out there that will read it and understand where you are coming from, or who may even just read it out of boredom... in her case it helped her grow as a person (which i hope may happen to me as well)


annnd at this point, clearly my brain is a big, fat, hot mess right now because i can't think of exactly what i want to say in any of what i'm talking about (this time i'm going to blame it on me being sick this week), but thats why i warned all you readers about the randomness of this blog. everything sounds so much more organized and better in my head and the second i go to write it, i feel like a kindergartner!


so i apologize for this mumble jumble of a post i am publishing right now, i hope you can understand. and let's hope, for the sake of all of your poor little brains that my next post is more clear and thought out! goodnight all :)

Thursday, February 11, 2010

and so it begins...

so i have decided to start a blog. not really sure what possessed me to do so...

it could be that i am inspired by other friends blogs...
or that i need to have a place where i can vent...
or quite possibly a mix of both... i think i will go with that one.

i really can't make any promises about this blog. the only thing i will tell you is that it is guaranteed to be random, because that's just how i am... random.

so in saying so... welcome to my little thought bubble.