You never know, until you try...

last night, while watching the fireworks display, my mind got to thinking. hmm... he was supposed to be here with me watching these. this was going to be the best 4th of july because i had someone special to watch the fireworks with and be able to say that i have been kissed under the fireworks. but. when i stopped watching and looked around me i realized, this is reality. he isn't here. it hurts to think about that, but i also have to look on the entire thing as a growing experience. it was good for me to experience what he had to give and to learn from things that have happened. sure he is a great kid, but i think he has changed. and not for the better. his friend claims there is no way we can be just friends, yet, we can have normal conversations and act civil. i just don't think it's fair to say that a friendship could never come of this because in reality, we were amazing friends, and someone i grew super close to, i think that is silly to throw away. but he also claims that i deserve better. sure, i guess. but that still has nothing to do with whether we can still be friends.

so... upon looking at the people around me at the fireworks i was thinking how things happen for a reason. among the people that surrounded me, there was a guy who i have a lot of history with (get your minds out of the gutter, it's not like that). as we were sitting there i was thinking maybe for once, things should work out between us, that the timing is right. he always wanted a chance with me, but the timing was never right, or he could never quite prove himself to me. i gave him a ride back to my house where his car was parked after the fireworks, and due to the heavy traffic, we had the chance to talk. he has proven to me that he is more caring and considerate now and that he has matured. i think he has finally done some growing up, and he realized that. we had a good conversation consisting of my most recent relationship, our past, and things in our lives. he opened up. and i think he wants to really prove himself now. i know it's soon, but things happen for a reason right? maybe i can give him one more chance and see where the road takes me. if not, it's just another little mistake to learn from. you never know until you try.

so this post just goes to show how people can change, whichever direction it may be. and also, you have to be willing to take chances. even if certain ones makes your heart throb a little, it hurt at first, but maybe, just maybe this is what it needs to mend itself and become whole again.